Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The Trench

How many different types of rain can there be in one week? After heavy driving rain, swirling windy rain and stair rod showers with the merest glimpse of the sun in the rare intervals, today has seen a mist like haze where the air itself soaks you. It all makes restoration work in this little corner of France very difficult. Even Tom the cat seems to have disappeared, perhaps finding a cosier spot than under my caravan which has turned in just a couple of weeks from a nice bit of shelter against the sun to a chilly damp wind tunnel. After a warm week digging a trench across the courtyard to bring in new services to the base of the old kitchen wall, the ground has gone from dry and hard to sludgy mud, the trench filling with rainwater making progress impossible. Earlier, whilst looking out through the rivulets of water streaming down the large window at the end of the caravan where I eat most of my meals, I was working up the enthusiasm to go and lay a couple of planks across the trench, as continued leaping across was tempting fate, when I was reminded of an incident some years ago concerning a much bigger, more malevolent trench. I had taken on the plastering and flooring contract at a big old pub on the Staffordshire, Derbyshire border. The first job was concreting the whole floor and I had a new recruit, Phil. Phil was a friend who had lost his job in an office restructuring and asked if I could help him for a short while until he found a new job. Although slight, and with no practical experience I took him on, as a friend would. And so it was that we pulled up in the pouring rain in the pub car park at eight in the morning and a concrete lorry and crew waiting for us. I had never apologised to a labourer before but I found myself looking at his thin frame and saying how sorry I was that he had got to work in this weather on the wheelbarrow all day but he shrugged it off saying he was quite looking forward to building his muscles up, working with these tough looking lads who were lined up with their barrows next to the concrete lorry. As I got out and hurried across to the foreman, I noticed the lads sniggering and looked across to see Phil lighting up his pipe. Although my dad used to smoke one, it was quite unusual to see a younger man smoke a pipe and I wondered if perhaps Phil was under estimating the endeavour he was about to begin on. The rain falling heavy now, and with an impatient lorry driver pulling the leaver to start the flow of concrete into the men’s barrows, I noticed the further impediment to a smooth first day for Phil. After having their barrows filled to the brim, they had to move forward in the mud and over a bridge of three planks across a wide and deep trench. Worried I took Phil aside and told him that it did not matter if he didn’t want to do it. That it was asking too much of a chap who had never done anything like this before. But puffing on his pipe with a determination I had never seen before he said he was ready and took his place behind Gary, the big apprentice bricklayer. I watched with half closed eyes as his wheelbarrow was filled and he moved forward to the planks, wobbling as he took the strain. "You sure your man is up to it," said the foreman, but all I could do was give a weak nod. I held my breath as he mounted the planks, but the combination of weight and mud was too much for him and I moved forward shouting to just let go of it Phil. Too my utter disbelief and horror, Phil, sensing the barrows unstoppable lurch to the edge of the plank, thought that he could wrestle it back and held on as it went over, whipping him down with it as it went. For a split second I felt the shocked gaze of four or five of the men shoot towards me as though I had sent a new recruit on a lone suicide mission to the front, but running to the edge and peering over I felt first a huge sense of relief which then turned to laughter followed by the others who slid to a halt beside me. Phil climbed to his feet, covered in mud and concrete, the whites of his eyes glaring up out of the gloom but with his pipe still held firmly between his teeth. He gained the men’s respect that day. Brushing off my offer to drive him home, he went to wash his hands and face and then returned to take his place with his barrow, the concrete man showing a rare touch of pity and not filling it up right to the top as before.

The weather report gives a better week or so ahead, but perhaps I shall wait until the mud has dried up a little before I get my wheelbarrow out again.


Martyn Walker is the author of Stopcock.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Skip

     

          Working here on my my own has its disadvantages. Aside from the obvious ones such as doing all the labouring, mixing mortar, wheelbarrowing it through to me etc, its putting up scaffolds on your own and passing things up to me when i'm  pointing old stone walls up. For instance, on friday I had knocked out an old stone doorway that had been blocked up for whatever reason a few years ago with concrete blocks and it took me a while to fill up the trailer ready for the tip. Needing a baguette for lunch which I could get from the village boulangerie where the tip was, I pushed on as they close at twelve. It is only about five miles to the village, but I had to take it easy as the trailer was heavy and I was driving the car as the old van didn't possess a toe bar. The Council tips in France are good, and the one here is no exception. Swinging in the gate, I gave a few extra revs and pull up the slope that leaves you above the skip so that you can just drop your rubbish into it. Finishing level with the one that is specially designed for rubble, I got out and after handballing a few bits of the heavier lumps, decided to un hitch the trailer and just tip it in. Just then an old chap wearing a beret pulled alongside me and after a smiling bonjour, began emptying a pruned laural bush into the gardening waste skip opposite. After hitching back up, I got back in and to my dismay, and without any warning, I turned the key and all I got was a click. The battery was dead. Hearing the old chap say something, I got out and shrugged my shoulders in a galic manner which speaks for many things here and he replied with one of his own. My french, although still on the amateur level, was good enough to understand his solution. I was to get in whilst he pushed me the couple of metres to the edge of the slope to jump start it as it went down. I had two qualms. The first was that if it didn't start, the steering and brakes were as good as useless and a turn was required at the bottom of the slope to avoid going through the hedge and into someones garden at the bottom. The other was that being a big car, the old chap would not be able to push it, judging from how he was struggling with the branches of the bush.  But he was insistent, and putting his shoulder against the back, bade me to get inside. Turning the key and putting it into second gear, I must admit I felt a little anxious looking at the hedge down below, that looked closer the more I looked at it. But incredibly, I felt a shove with what sounded like a war cry and we were off. The engine burst into life halfway down the slope and I swerved round to the left as I heard a great hollering sound and looking in the mirror, saw the old chap come running down the slope waving his arms. Leaping at my open window and throwing his arm in, he suddenly stopped, and stared in relieved disbelief that I was sitting behind the steering wheel. After pushing me over the edge, he had looked up to see me sitting to him, inconprehensibly in the right seat headed towards the hedge. Roaring with laughter, I couldn't understand, but could tell from his gestures that he thought he had sent this Englishman to his fate in the hedge. Of course, he was not to know that I had changed the numberplate to a french one but was still right hand drive. We parted still laughing, my smile leaving me when nearly home whn I realised that I would have to buy a new battery the next day.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Seaside

I am not terribly keen on thunder and lightening. I suppose thinking about it, I have never met anyone that is, but its effect seems heightened when sitting in a compact caravan alone, feeling it slightly shudder as the subsequent rain hammers seemingly on all sides. The day has been warm though, the leaves beginning to fall from the poplar trees, the first tell tale sign that Autumn has begun. It was so nice this afternoon in fact that I decided to go on a little drive. A man can only take so much working on his own, that, tiring of lime mortar, yes it is possible, I went to the hilly compagne to the east of here as Jean Pierre told me it was particularly impressive. And so it was. Well wooded with oaks and chestnuts, I drove up winding lanes briefly emerging into the sunlight before plunging down valleys under the canopy of trees, my old Peugeot van chugging as I climbed up again as though complaining at having to go further than the local building merchants. The roads seemed like a labyrinth, and I was almost enjoying being in the position where I was not exactly lost, but not all together sure where I was, when I crested the brow of a hill and was confronted by a lovely view of a lake, framed perfectly by woods and the odd sunlit field populated with a few cream coloured cows. The vista seemed timeless and I pulled over to savour nature at its best, when, listening to the crowing of rooks high in the treetops, I began to realise I had seen a similar view before. The water may not have looked so azure blue and the trees so profuse towards the water’s edge, but in its own way it was as beautiful. It was perhaps thirty years before when my Dad unlocked his mini bus and urged the youngest of us to get inside whilst he talked with the couple of older men out side. Grinning, they climbed into the front three seats, my dad taking the wheel, and after starting the engine he turned to address the men in a manner which he believed evoked the spirit of Henry the fifth before Agincourt. After giving a brief outline of the job we were going to, which I knew was to be at a power station, I was then surprised when he turned to Dave, who was the young apprentice and told him that he was in for a treat as we were working at the seaside. As I began to open my mouth to say that I knew the power station to be only about forty minutes away and that as we lived in the midlands at possibly the furthest point in the British isles from the sea this was impossible, I saw my Dad staring at me with his keep quite look. He then went on to say that as it was a long drive and we needed to get cracking when we arrived, that it would be a good idea if Dave had a little sleep on the way. From being quite sluggish after a night out with his mates though, Dave sat up, grinning like a kid on a school trip. Drives to work in the mini bus usually follow a similar pattern. Different to the drive home when there would be excited voices talking of football, girls and the night ahead, to work it would be crumbles about the weather and the traffic and any number of misfortunes to complain about and this day was no exception. After about half an hour, tired of listening to the conversation of the older men talking of cars I settled back in my seat and looked out of the window at the weak sun lighting up an autumn scene of trees halve shorn of their leaves and realised we were near the reservoir where many times as kids my parents used to take us for walks around the water’s edge and in and out of the woods. About to tell my Dad that I remembered those days, I was surprised when slowing down the hill that presented such a panoramic view of the reservoir, he braked before turning into the small car park that often used to have an ice cream van parked there, much to our delight. "Here we are then young Dave, the seaside." Dave, who had in fact been dozing, suddenly stood up with an incredulous look on his face. I found it almost unbelievable that in this day and age that a young guy like that had never seen the sea before. But as he got out with one of the biggest grins I had ever seen on somebody’s face and rush to the water’s edge with a look of wonder, I realised that there are still people who have perhaps never left the confines of their own towns and cities. Feeling a little sorry for him and thinking it was possibly a little cruel, I got out of the mini bus and started to walk after him. "Leave him," said my Dad. "I will tell him soon enough, let him enjoy being somewhere different." He never seemed to notice the grins and sniggering of the others as he climbed back in, or even that we were driving across a bridge to the other side of the ‘sea’. But later on when I saw my Dad take him aside and tell him that in fact it had not been the sea but a reservoir, I asked him if he didn’t mind.
"No" he said, "I ain’t seen one of them neither."

Monday, September 23, 2013

Fish, Beef and Rabbit

I have a confession to make. Yesterday I bought a couple of tins of cat food. This may not appear to be a particularly revealing confession, or even one that can have the merest modicum of interest to anyone. But to anyone who by chance may be reading this who knows me, it will come as a surprise. After many years of skilful evasion by which I managed to rebuff any request for a pet by my children with a sometimes sympathetic wife, I ventured into my local Leclerc supermarket and purchased the two above mentioned tins. I bought two because, astonished by the array of flavours and musing if cats actually had a preference for one or the other, decided to play it safe and go for a tin of both fish and beef. The reason for all this of course is Tom. Since rescuing him, I have felt like one of those chaps in a film who saves a strangers life and as a consequence the stranger stays close to him forming a bond, a little like Morgan Freeman in Robin hoods prince of thieves from a few years back. He’s fussy though. In the last few weeks he slowly approaches the food I leave for him near the caravan door, nervously sniffs it before taking increasingly smaller bites before hardly touching it now. Cathy might not be surprised, knowing the limitations of my cooking, but feeling sort of responsible for him now, and to be honest, enjoying his albeit limited company, I found my way into the pet aisle of the supermarket with its array of all things pet friendly and a faint whiff of Zoo. I decided to go with the fish, and crikey, did it make the caravan smell like a North Sea trawler. As usual, I put the bowl out before it gets dark, which now is disarmingly around half past eight, and sat down in my spot near the window to see if he likes what I imagine must be his first taste of tinned food. My Grandmother often used to say that you have made ‘a rod for your own back’ when you have done something that will cost you time or money, and I could almost hear her say it as Tom tucked the food away, licking his lips as he finished the bowl for the first time. Oh well, I am not exactly snowed under with friends at the moment, so I will pop off to the supermarket tomorrow and try the rabbit.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

High

Usually I'm fine working on scaffolds. But today, I have decided to finish and climb back down the ladder and put the kettle on. I don't know if it's because Cathy and the kids have been unable to come, but high up on the scaffold, repairing the broken roof tiles that are on the over hang that shoots rain water away from the wall, it felt kind of lonely. Maybe being so high, without the sight or sound of anybody except the gentle breeze that swirled around my head as it came over the roof from the west, it made me feel removed from the normal flow of things. I suppose the fact that the scaffold had to be erected over a metre away from the wall because of the over hang made it worse. Although I had tied it off around the bars of the renaissance window half way up, it was rather wobbly and added to my sense of unease. Coming down the ladder though, I had to smile to myself. Triggered by the wobbling and the sound of Jean Pierre's cockerel crowing, as he does sporadicaly day and night, I thought of a similar scene years before when with Danny I was rendering a chimney on a cottage down a little country lane. It had been raining on and off all morning, but after lunch it brightened up, so scaling back up the ladder and taking the bucket of lime plaster off the pully that Danny had sent up, I started to second coat the chimney. At first it was very subtle, an almost imperceptable move away from the wall. But just as I was thinking it was more of a stretch for me to reach the top corner than I'd remembered from yesterday, I instinctively  dropped my trowel into the bucket, and with a good chunk of my heart in my mouth, grabbed the corner of the chimney stack and wrapped my legs around the safety barrier of the scaffold. Danny, thinking I had gone mad as it looked like I had joined a hug a chimney society, started to yell up some admittedly funny obsceneties that are a feature of chaps in his line of work. But soon after deciphering help from my straining grunts, he realised that the back legs of the scaffold were sinking in the newly dampened earth. With an admirable quickness of mind he shouted up that if I could hold on for a couple of minutes, he had noticed that the woman of the house had an old wooden ladder in the chicken run and he could use it as a wedge to stop any further movement whilst I climbed down. Relieved he'd got a plan I hung on for dear life until I heard the noise of chickens almost barking their anger followed by a familiar stream of Danny's invectives. Sensing that the slipping scaffold had stopped, I strained my head to see Danny, the crotch of his jeans snagged on the wire fence as he tried to straddle it, swinging at an irrate cockerel with a long cumberson old Ladder. The more he swung, the more snagged he became and the cockerel, easily evading his clumsy defence, moved in to attack the leg remaining in his territory with claws and beak. Dropping the Ladder it broke, its years sitting unused in the run, contributing to its rotting demise. It seemed an eternity scaling down the poles nearest the gable end of the cottage, expecting to have to jump at any time, but I made it, the scars of the day belonging to Danny, both on his leg and being bettered by a bird. Sipping my tea and listening to Jean Pierre's cockerel, I went and pulled at the scaffold pole in the same way I have done ever since that day, and gave a little stamp on the sun baked earth.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Rats


Not many people's favourite animal are rats, and so it seems to Tom. After slinking away unseen the other night, I have just found a small dead rat near to the step of the caravan. I presume it was he who left it and although it appears to have no marks on it I don't think it had a cardiac arrest as it was passing the caravan. I like to think that he brought it to me as  a gift for helping him out, and although not a particularly nice one for humans, I suppose his gift range is a little limited. I expect it was more likely though that he dropped it as he caught sight of me as he was making good his escape. He will probably return for it when it gets dark.  Rats hold a singular place in my affections. When I was but a young chap with only the acquisition of girlfriends, money and a decent left foot on the pitch to stretch my mind, I was working on the construction of a new brewery maltings. Like most young  men, I probably had an over inflated opinion of my own abilities and one day after saying that I could work quite easily on my own, I found myself in a labyrinth of concrete lined dark tunnels with flickering lights every ten meters or so which felt like I was on one of those scary video games. Near every light there was a steel joist that held up the concrete slabbed roof.

"Just wrap the stainless steel mesh around each one, tie angle beads on the edges and render them with three coats," said my dad with a smile that knew my ego would not let me utter any grievance about being given this god forsaken job. He knew as well as I, that it meant carrying trestles and planks, as well as barrowing the sand and cement and wire etc, underground along long, cold corridors, with my footsteps the only sound to accompany me. After a couple of days with no daylight, I was beginning to feel like Jack Nicholson stalking those corridors in The Shining, when pushing the wheelbarrow along to where my trestles were set up, I heard a funny kind of rustling, scratching noise that seemed to be getting closer. Picking up my speed a little that had lapsed into a plod, I gripped the handles tighter and broke into a trot, which isn't easy when your barrow is full to the hilt. With the noise getting closer and more sinister I stopped and turned and shouted out that whoever was there to stop mucking about, or words to that effect. But in the dimness I still couldn't see anything until in the glow of the last light behind me I saw a mass of rats running my way with god knows what aim in mind. Leaving the barrow where it was, I took off, reaching my top speed in a time that I had rarely achieved on the football pitch, but even so was surprised when I approached the trestles and leapt onto the planks before the rats reached me. Feeling like a builder's version of Indiana Jones, and I do believe he was a carpenter once, I looked back to see fat rats, bloated on Barley, run under the trestles and off into the darkness with barely a squeak in my direction. Where they were going and in such a hurry  I never found out. In the three months it took me to do what seemed like endless beams, the rats came again on three more occasions, but by then I was almost used to it.  It's getting dark now and I am beginning to wish I had moved the rat further away, but if it is there in the morning I suppose it means that it was meant for me.







Thursday, August 15, 2013

Tom

Still on my own, and with the villages and towns full of smiling tourists, it all feels a little hollow to me. Maybe that's why I started this blog, but does anybody actually read them anyway? I have been thinking about not bothering to write anymore when I met Tom. When I say met, I mean I heard a faint gurgling meow kind of noise in the old lime tree that grows over the roof of the caravan. To be honest I am not even sure he's male, but when I looked in the dense foliage about an hour ago, I finally spotted what looked like the Cheshire cat grinning down at me. He seemed to be just happily sitting there, his ginger and white fur  a good camouflage amongst the shadowy leaves, but after a couple of minutes and me opening a carton of milk and pouring him some out into a bowl, I felt something was wrong. Fetching my ladder, thinking he had bitten off more than he could chew, I leaned it on the branch he was on and tried to coax him down. Still he did not move. So slowly climbing the rungs, I decided to attempt a rescue. Halfway up, I noticed some grubby floral fabric near his head which on closer inspection I found was a long makeshift collar that he had entangled in the branch until it held his neck tight to it. His Cheshire cat grin was of slow suffocation. He didn't move, I expect through exhaustion at the struggle to free himself, as I tried to release him, but the fabric was strong so I went back down to fetch my Stanley knife. Gently sawing at the fabric and with soothing words I cut through it and was surprised when he still sat there. Backing down the ladder, I pulled up my plastic chair and watched as he opened his mouth a few times and moved down the branch a little. Nudging the bowl of milk a little closer to the base of the tree, I was glad for the first time since being here that I was on my own, as the sight of me crouched down talking in a high pitched voice, tool belt dragging on the floor must have looked a picture. Eventually he made his way down on to the roof of the caravan before tentatively dropping down and under the caravan. He is still there now, still shy of venturing out, but it has given time to think abut what idiot what make a collar for a cat with a piece of fabric over a meter long and knotted round his neck. Surely not Jean Pierre? He seems so common sense like, but there is no one else here for over half a mile! Oh well, we will see what happens, and hopefully he will still be about when the kids get here as they have always wanted a dog or cat. That's if I can coax him out from under the caravan.






Sunday, August 4, 2013

Dragonflies

I don't know what it is about rivers that make me feel a little thoughtful. If anyone tells me its because they are reflective I will throw something at them. No, maybe it's the way the water flows non stop like life itself, supporting a whole host of life forms as it makes its way to the sea. Sitting this afternoon on a small pebble beach after giving up trying to work in this heat, I was taken by the dragonflies in huge groups flitting over the surface of the water, landing on the smallest scraps of plant life, their only thoughts I suppose, procreation and food. A bit like Danny. After walking some way upstream in the shallows, I then hopped on to one of the large rubber rings I bought for the kids. With my hands and feet trailing in the cool water and my bum stuck in the middle so the water crept up to my chest, I floated silently back round the bend in the river towards where I left my towel and bag. A couple of vibrant blue dragonflies landed on my knee and through half closed eyes watched as other birds and fish came close, my motionless sprawl giving them confidence. Its funny when at times like these, with no other person in sight or sound, the trickling of the water the only background to the screeing call of the buzzards, where your mind takes you. Transported maybe thirty years, I thought of the rushing dark waters of the river Trent, and my brother and I, leaning against an old wall that divided the garden of a manor house we were working on in Nottinghamshire from the small lane that led to it. We were lime rendering the old outside walls, and as we finished an elevation in a day so as to have no joints, it meant a long day and it was about seven o'clock and we needed a break before the last push. The wall was only chest high, so we sat, chewing the fat about what we were going to do with our lives and sipping form a coke bottle whilst flicking stones into the river, when we heard the noise of a lorry roaring closer before pulling up nearby. Surprised that a lorry would even drive down this small lane off the beaten track, we decided that we didn't want our break interrupted by a lost driver asking for directions, so kept our heads down, certain he would ask at the manor. Both of us jumped though when a loud clattering sound followed by excitable voices and the crunching of boots on gravel made us more than curious. when the voices came so close that they were on the other side of the wall where we sat, I thought it time to take a peek. Standing up; I came face to face with a grinning miner, who with many of his colleagues was peeing up the wall. "Alright mate," he smiled before zipping up and turning towards the lorry. I stammered something which seemed to make many of the miners laugh as they made there way back, some with pick axe handles in their hands. These were the days of the miners strike, and I mused later on this group of men, who looked for all intents and purposes that they were on a jolly day out somewhere, mates together, instead of being embroiled in industrial strife.
Walking back home down the track, over shadowed with maize growing each side I noticed that the rubber ring started to deflate. Should I repair or replace it? Oh well, I have a few days to decide before the kids get here.




Monday, July 29, 2013

Fifty Sheets of Plasterboard

Nice today without being baking hot. Perfect for finishing the wattling in between the huge oak studs in the partition that divides the kitchen from the big sitting room. Weaving the hazel rods in and out of the horizontal oak staves is quite tough, but now it is finished and awaiting its daub of earth it looks great even as it is. Which is a good thing as the earth is baked hard with the heat. Even though Cathy sometimes sighs with exasperation, I like to use the traditional methods when working on old buildings. I remember my Dad telling me that when his Dad first saw plasterboards being used on a job, he solemnly shook his head as a master plasterer and said that they would never catch on. I remember plasterboarding a laboratory ceiling years ago. It was massive, and Danny and I had to carry a great stack of eight foot by four foot plasterboards, two at a time off the lorry and through the corridors to the Lab. Only Danny's constant joking and impressions of the people we knew kept our heads up, and with many sheets in we started to pass them up the scaffold. Lifting them up, we would then press them up with our heads before nailing them with galvanized clout nails, this being before the advent of screws for boards. The trouble was, as the work progressed and we became tired, so Danny's antics became funnier, and with us both straining under the weight of nearly the last board with tears in our eyes, Danny's arms gave way and the board crashed over his head. Lowering my end, I was worried he was hurt, but the sight of his dusty white head with a collar of broken plasterboard round his neck, made us both roar so much we could only push the board over the edge and let it smash to the floor. Unfortunately just at that moment the sour faced project manager walked in and started on about how much the boards were, but as I had paid for them I couldn't see what his problem was.
Just had a call from Cathy. she says they are not coming tomorrow, it will be later in the week. Got so much to show her and loads of food in my little fridge too. Oh well, C'est la vie.




Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Tea


As Danny passed me a quarry tile and I pressed it into place, the man's head appeared round the corner again.
"You lads sure you won't 'ave a cuppa tea?"
I looked at Danny and gave a little sigh. When you work in prisons you are not supposed to take anything from inmates, but the old chap seemed so eager to make one and it was about the fifth time he had asked that day that I shrugged and said okay. As he shuffled off down the corridor to his cell, I stood up and stretched to see Danny looking at me with a little grimace.
"I know," I said, but it couldn't do any harm and I was ready for one anyway.
Standing in the doorway of his cell, I was surprised at how big it was, with an armchair and a television which had horse racing on, but as he was elderly I supposed they gave him a little slack.
"I love my racing," he said, then as the tea was mashing began to tell me about his illnesses and how little he saw of his family before pouring the tea and handing it to us.
The tea was hot, so I held the mug a while whilst he sat in his chair continuing with his life story and that he had been inside for fifteen years. Taking this as a cue and thinking he had taken us into his confidence I asked what his offence had been. Danny, tiring of the conversation began to sip his tea when he said casually,
"I poisoned three people."
Convulsing backwards, Danny spit his tea up the wall and shot out into the corridor. Bumbling some excuse, I followed him and we both poured our tea ceremoniously down the sink in the toilet. Surprisingly, we were not asked for tea again.
This tea tastes great though. Even though it is very hot sitting in the shade of the caravan in the old deckchair, nothing else hits the spot for me. A couple of digestives compliments it nicely, and as I look up at the window I have put in today which basically finishes off the kid's bedroom, I feel a little relaxed thinking they have somewhere to sleep when they get here on Monday.



Friday, July 19, 2013

Bubbles



The hammock is perfect. Slung between the old elder trees that I very nearly cut back a few weeks ago when everything was growing like mad in the rain, it's perfect for musing on life and cradling the laptop. I start the day early now, getting up at six and working until about one when it's too hot to work. The floor's finished, so it's onto some plastering tomorrow and maybe when Cathy gets here next week it will look like I have made some progress. With a room plastered out, it looks like it's nearly finished. The early start was difficult today though. Last night in the local town there was a fete. I had seen it advertised on a poster outside the boulangerie last week, and bored with the sound of my own hammering and tinned food in the caravan, decided to see what the poster meant by a mousse party. Standing on the edge of the square, brightly lit stalls linked with garlands of light bulbs, I was intrigued by a big contraption that was set up on the stage next to the DJ's podium. As the sunset faded away and I started to tuck into my sausage in a baguette that the latex gloved man on the food stall handed to me like a prized possession, I watched as groups of friends, mostly young people but with more than a smattering of children and their parents, move towards the stage at the urging of the DJ. As the music level increased, so the mystery machine cranked into life spewing huge amounts of mousse, or to my eyes at least, a type of foam that looked like everyone was indulging in a giant communal bubble bath. Soon most of the teenagers had disappeared as they had surged to the front, but they were quickly followed by the children, darting in and out, throwing foam at their smiling parents. To see people of all ages in a community having such innocent fun made me smile, but I did see one young chap emerge from the foam mountain grimacing as he limped away rubbing his knee. The way his face sagged and his sodden shorts clung to his thighs reminded me of Jack. I was working at a courthouse repairing tiles with my Dad. It was in the Edwardian toilets just off the main entrance and all was progressing well when we had a call asking us to re-grout the joints in the long urinal with epoxy grout. Well you can imagine what we thought of that. Still, my Dad said he'd had worse jobs and we were just to get on with it. He boiled some water to clean what in fairness was a clean area, but before we could start we needed the flushing water switched off. Finding the valve rusted solid I phoned the main contractor for a plumber and was told he would be there as soon as possible. Twenty minutes later in walked Jack. Jack was a nice chap, but he was a joiner. In his eagerness to please his boss whose plumbers were overworked he had volunteered to help us as he said he was au fait with all things plumbing. Soon coming to the same conclusion as us that the valve was stuck he went to ask a court usher if he could turn the mains off. They were reluctant, so not wanting to be a nuisance he said he'd manage.
"You must be joking," said my Dad as Jack outlined his proposal. He said that he would cut the pipe in a discreet area and slip on a new valve excepting that he would get a little damp but that as all the walls and floor were tiled the spilled water would soon mop up. His smiling face of confidence was met with our scorn but if we wanted to get the job done he said, it was the only way. Stripped off to the waist, he stood on his saw bench and asked me to pass him the relevant tools as he required them. With his hacksaw he made quick progress as I watched, my Dad in a cubicle, determined to play no part in Jack's scheme. As the water came screaming out of the severed pipe, Jack could not have known that it's source was a huge tank on the roof of the police headquarters seven stories high next door, but as the water gushed onto the opposite wall before splashing in all directions he could have done better than to collapse down with a look of horror on his face. Seizing the valve off him I jumped up and attempted to push the new valve on. A difficult task was made impossible when I found he had got the wrong size valve and I urged him in quite forthright terms to pass me another. Staggering like a shell shocked soldier, he told me that he hadn't got one, whereupon I coaxed him with some not too soothing words to fetch one. Holding my thumb over the pipe in an attempt to stem the flood like a soggy little Dutch boy, I watched him leave the room and saw that my Dad had taken the broom to the door and was brushing the tide away back towards the urinal.
"Grab this quick," he called and was gone as I swept like one of those brush hands in the Curling event. Just when I thought that my efforts were about to be overwhelmed, the water suddenly slowed then stopped. My Dad then appeared smiling, explaining that with a little bit of charm he had persuaded the usher that he would only need the water turning off for a minute or two.
There was just room for the both of us to stand on the saw bench and look through the window to see Jack's van come screaming round the corner on his way back from the builder's merchants. Pulling up on the space reserved for emergency vehicles, he came dashing in with the precious valve. My Dad back on the brush and me with my thumb over the end of the pipe, I growled,
"Get up here quickly."
Jack jumped up like a man possessed and I told him in dramatic fashion that when I counted to three I would let go and he was to force the valve on. Reaching three I released my thumb, and as a tiny trickle emerged form the pipe, his face registered first shock and then relief as he stepped back off the saw bench and then sat on the floor.
After he had finished, I watched him walk back to his van rubbing his knee like the lad at the mousse fete, and was impressed for the first time with him that day when the usher approached him and asked if there had been a problem.
"No," he soggily replied. "You get a bit wet sometimes in this game."






Saturday, July 13, 2013

Confetti


This is what I thought I was waiting for. After months of intermittent rain and wind, the sun has arrived, but instead of being able to push on with the floor boarding, the tower has become a furnace limiting work to early morning. When at the end of May Jean-Pierre told me the heat would hit us in July, I assured him that working in high temperatures held no fear for me. But now, sitting in the shade next to the caravan which has become unusable due to its cauldron like properties, I must decide on what to do for when Cathy comes over at the beginning of the school holidays with the kids. Looking around my corner of a foreign field that I thought would be by now beginning to look something like the idyll I had planned, the shimmering heat has begun to blur the lines of reality. The mixer and wheelbarrow seem to melt against the stone and the rest of my tools disappear amongst the wild flowers, their inanimation mocked by the fluttering butterflies. Surveying this scene of arcadian inactivity, I look up the field of silent, golden wheat to the spire of the distant church. It reminds me of a church I once worked on in England. The stones a different colour and the carvings are earlier of course, but essentially it's quite similar. One day, years ago, with my Dad and Danny, our labourer, we were standing opposite the church with Bill, the old school foreman, in the new village hall which had just been completed when the church bells started ringing. We walked to the window where we had a panoramic first floor view of the side of the church with the path leading in our direction towards the gates with headstones crowded either side. Staring at this scene of nuptial bliss as they started down the path amidst a flurry of confetti, Danny's comments that the groom's best days were behind him became overladen with a distant chugging noise. Bill immediately recognised this as the dumper truck that Eric had driven for years on sites and that he had been told to use later to clear up the mess around the new vestry. To Bill's increasing horror, he appeared into view and was making for the church gates. Looking with wide eyes he turned to me and asked what he was doing, to which I could only shrug and suggest he was ahead of his schedule. Nimbly for a man of his advanced age, he turned and made for the door shouting fruitlessly for Eric as he went.
As Eric spun the dumper effortlessly up the couple of steps and between the ancient gate piers each side, we knew Bill's dash would be futile. Once on the path, Eric must have known quickly his error, but for whatever reason, call it panic or just blind stupidity, he just carried on. I remember an illustration at primary school that showed Moses parting the red sea and that's pretty much the effect Eric had on the congregation. The first to notice was the happy couple, their heads leaning either side of the photographer who was backing down the path snapping away. Then a scene from Benny Hill ensued as against a backdrop of bells mixed with the chugging of the invading truck, the bride and groom, followed by their guests spilled either side amongst the headstones, the photographer’s face a picture as he spun round and to his credit I heard later, taking a shot of Eric's panic stricken face as he went by. Surveying the scene from our grandstand view, we could only just see Eric as he dismounted the dumper at the church and made a run for it through streaming eyes.

The church above the wheat now disappears in the tears of recollection, and I begin to wonder if I should have bought that hammock I saw in the supermarket the other day.